Hard Lessons My Mum Taught Me

Hard Lessons My Mum Taught Me

Well, I am the type of person that used to judge people a lot. I still judge, you know, because it’s only by judging that you differentiate black from white, right from wrong… But I do not judge that kind of judging that sends people regretting their actions and decisions as much as I used to when I was younger. Life slowed me a bit; in a fun way. I am very close to my mum and we have been through some waves. I value what I have learned from her (I have written poetry about them here). I will share a story and some lessons today.

Keep Your Good Thoughts Up. Whatever You Think Manifests!
I remember one time when I was still in high school. It was just after dinner, my sister and I were sitting in the living room, watching my mum reading a Good News Bible. I am one of those strong thinkers called melancholics and I sat there, deeply absorbed, reflecting on certain situations I deemed inappropriate. You see, my mum has her way of getting certain things done which I do not really agree with. I thought of confronting her about it because she involved me at times, but I didn’t. You may think that is wise, but wait! I did something worse.
Mum, is it true that Jax is my real dad? it’s true I look a lot like my dad, right?” That was it right there. You do not, and I repeat, you do not talk to a single mum about looking like a man who dumped her because of you. I knew this before I said those words but I would have preferred that she never got married again. Apart from making me think that all marriage is total slavery, it caused her a lot of pain. She had to work extra hard, destroy relationships and bear heavy burdens alone because of it. It may seem that I was insensitive to her situation, and I was to some extent, but I did not think some things were necessary. That night, I received the lecture of my life.

No One Will Ever Love You More Than I Do
That question seems to have ripped her to bits. I could feel her anger, I could see her pain as she closed the Bible and placed it on the table. She said, “You think that now you have a boyfriend, who is a child by the way, and you have gone to some good school, you know a lot? Or is it those aunts of yours who have filled your brain with filth?” Well, my aunts had sure filled my brain with some filth. They would ask, “What is your mom doing in that town?” “Are you sure she does a real job?” “I hear there is a man she is currently dating. He must be rich!” “Do you know Jax is your dad? Even your eyes are as big as his.”
While I am the kind of person that can listen to people’s concerns, and problems, but mostly rubbish, tend to absorb it sometimes and it affects me indirectly. This time, it made me observe my mum’s “wrongs” and question some of her actions. She said, “You may think that because you have stayed with your aunts, they care about you more. Go and ask them whether they loved you the same way when you were little. You were like a burden to all of them. Do not be deceived now. I am your mother. No one will ever love you more than I do.” Well, that killed me.

You Never Have The Right To Judge Anyone.
I have come to realize that people have their reasons and they are mostly very critical. You cannot judge a chameleon for committing suicide after her children are born. I mean, after all those years, some chameleon must have realized that violent sex after the eggs hatch kills people chameleons but none ever did so it probably is for a reason or something in their genes. You cannot judge a kid raised in the hood, with all the gangs and drugs, for turning out rough! People can always change for the better, but whatever someone is now, just let them be. Someone somewhere hates you for who you are now, anyway.

20 responses to “Hard Lessons My Mum Taught Me”

  1. These are some really good lessons and I am glad you shared them with us. I salute your mom for sacrificing so much
    in her life for you as she must have considered it her duty. But starkly opposite were your aunts who sort of gossiped about things that didn’t concern their interest.
    Good day to you!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. SMiLes it Seems Breathing Itself
    is Tribute Enough to A Parent’s
    Gift For Us With SMiLes
    Mariana After All Now
    It Took An Unbroken
    Chain of Nature For
    Us to Be Born At All to Breathe
    How Fortunate We All Are Indeed
    to Have Parents
    ThiS Way at All Now
    With SMiLes for Living
    If We aRe So Fortunate
    To Be Gifted With SMiLes At All..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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