I long to write love poems again,
To imagine my self in his arms once more,
Smiling all along with no sadness on my countenance.
I want my head to be filled with happy thoughts,
Of laughter, of chuckles when me and friends swim at the stream.
I want birds to hum their beautiful hymns in my subconscious,
To remind me of my imaginary country life
I want to be a child again,
To ride bicycles and race with my friends
And I wish that I could cry my sorrows away.
But I don’t want to cry, it’ll raise alarm.
A friend’s cried her sorrows out and my parents said.. “don’t be like that.”
I want to be a free bird,
And I want to be in a cage when I want to.
I want to feel at home, in this body that fights me.
I want to be me, without fear or shame.
They said fear exists in the thoughts of the future…
Maybe I went there and found my horrors.