This is a Relationship Not a Debate

Hey there,
I’m writing this to you as a fellow woman and a very caring one at that. I know your friends since high school and your auntie told you that you don’t need to bow to no man and I somehow agree with them because you are a precious creation that should be treated with respect. I agree that no one, man or woman should downgrade you in any way because you are unique in your own precious way and you are beautiful. You are the best version of yourself.

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However, you are all grown-up now and you made an agreement with that man that you should end up being something… or making something. You are still precious but when it comes to this institution, your dignity, integrity, and any other good -ity of you is dictated by how well you get along. Your theory that men and women are equal does not apply here.
You can do all that he can, alright? I don’t dispute that sweetheart. All I am saying that in every empire, there is a ruler, then a helper, and so on. In this kingdom, he is the king and you are the queen (I’m sure you have once called him that) since you already know that theory, I won’t bore you with a lot of repetition. You know your place: STICK TO IT!
Stop arguing with him over who should wash the dishes, watch the baby overnight, change diapers….. it’s foolish to do so. If he is understanding enough, he will offer to do it or hire you a help. If he doesn’t, IT’S YOUR JOB to do all that so be the superwoman you always have been or wisely talk him into getting you a house-help, otherwise you are in trouble. Be wise in words rather than trying the controlling way. he is not a TV set; he is a man and all men are natural rulers.

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41 responses to “This is a Relationship Not a Debate”

  1. I would completely agree with you…if I was not working full time as well. But being a mom, working full time (stuck home alone no less with the two little ones while he’s working outside of the home) for 40-50 hours a week, and then being expected to do all of the housework on top of that without his help…isn’t happening in my house lol. I totally get where you’re coming from though! If I was a stay at home mom and not working full time then this is seriously right up my alley! I’d rather not be working and only taking care of the homefront!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Interesting.
    I don’t know what to say really. But here is my 2cent: Every relationship is a social contract of sorts, and with that there are clauses. There is nothing of the sort who is what ( men being rulers or something of that sort ). I did my national service of 5 years and am a pretty good cook- and can do the dishes with equal ease. The point is – there are no set rules.

    So, contract. At the beginning of relationships people know a little about the other person, but over time things get clearer. I believe there is a need to set terms at the very beginning as to who does what or what your expectations are. Over a bit of time, one can always asses and decide whether they need to carry on or not.
    But of course, my recommendations are invalid for people who don’t know themselves.

    Quite a thought provoking post really.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is really a motivational write up, i could feel the power behind it. You are 100% correct. Even the bible clearly state the role of women in a home but this generation is trying to turn it upside down. Kudos. Check out my blog during your spare time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Finally someone said it! Now that definition of the woman right there is an Alpha Queen. Ready to get her hands dirty and head in the game for things/people that matter. 👑

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope I am misinterpreting the message. However, it sounds like you are saying there is a ruler and a helper and the ruler gets to push his way around, even when he is wrong.
    The rulership that God designed is that a man shows initiation in holiness and righteousness. So there is no room for him NOT to do right. He has a greater responsibility in making sure God’s will is done.
    Should he not do right, then no, a woman should not nag him. She should be cooperative to please God as long as she is not sinning, but it doesn’t change the fact that the husband is WRONG.
    Somehow, seems this message is alluding to the idea that according to roles, rulers get to be selfish and do as they please. That is not a Jesus Christ centered principle.
    True godly headship takes the initiative in demonstrating examples of selflessness, love, sacrifice, and servitude. This does not appeal to plenty men (oh they HATE IT) so they like the idea of pushing their way around, because it is in their flesh to crave dominance and control.
    I’m just examining things based on Christ- centered principles, which is the ONLY way to look at it. Look at the examples Jesus set as a Righteous Servant who is in authority. But that is how he used his authority. Is the authority to serve and to set righteous examples. Look at in what way He commands husbands to love their wives…AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.
    That is an enormous command and has no selfishness and no refusing to be a provider, or source.
    Some men hate this and don’t accept it though.


  6. Hmm.. My Wife Insists

    She Does It All Better

    Than Me So I Let Her

    Be The Boss And Comply

    When She Insists On Doing It All…

    i’m No MicroManager

    Unless i must

    Step In to


    When it looks

    Like She May Exhaust

    Her Retirement Funds

    As She Has A Disorder
    of Rarely Aging And Will

    Likely Need my Act of Tough Love HAha…

    Hehe, Leadership Is Relative to How You

    Get the Job Done It’s A Work of Art Ongoing

    Gauged on How Pleased All Parties Are Concerned Mariana…

    Bonobos in the Wild Live in Matriarchal Societies Where the

    Women Are in Charge All The Males Do Is Please the Females

    And Spend The Rest of Their Day With Their Feet Kicked Up

    By The Pond Relaxing Toxic Patriarchy Is A Fool’s Game

    Where i Live That Usually Leads to A Long Term Wife

    Of a Four-Wheel Drive Sitting In Front of A Trailer

    With Three or Four Sets of Kids to Support

    And A Boat And A Camper That Never

    Gets Used In the Back Yard As They

    Work Their Selves to Death in Two Jobs

    Or More To Pay For All Toxic Patriarchy Springs

    -Clever Ape

    Clever Financially

    Independent Ape Who

    Only Dances And Sings

    While Katrina Merrily Does the

    Rest Happy Enough to Hardly Age With SMiLes..

    Mileage Varies Depending on Make and Model of

    Human Being Dear Different Cultures Different Strokes




    Ways of Relaxing

    Happy or in Living Hell

    Again It’s A Work of Art

    Chances Are No One Else

    In the Entire UniVerse Would

    Put Up with me for 31 Years Know Your Blessing

    FeeL iT ALWayS NoW



    i Do Best With SMiLes..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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